To Be A Lady
by Jenksjinx
Summary: AU Canon Divergence Post S7/ Alternate S8, prequel to The Darkness Can't Keep Me, After a battle at Winterfell, Sansa becomes the strength that everyone needs while Jon readies himself to search for a missing Daenerys.


"Where did you see her last!" The question viciously leaping from her brother's throat jarring her and the wildling child that she had been tending to. He had just entered the hall after pushing the Night King's offense into retreat. She waved over a hand maiden and gestured her to continue where she had left off knowing there was only one 'her' he was looking for.

Her brother was reeling on any lieutenant he could find, grabbing the young soldiers by their plates and interrogating them as if they were the enemy. The refugees' worried cries from moments ago had calmed to a hush as their hallowed eyes turned upon their king. If she didn't calm him down soon, they wouldn't be able to determine him from that of the dead.

"Jon," she calmly elocuted, approaching him with her head held high and her hands folded to her front. Mummer's steel staying her resolve.

He rounded on her as if he were a rabid animal desperate for a row. Several raven colored strands had fallen from his bun into his face while his brow furrowed and his nose flared. His breathing was heavy and ragged and his fists were pumping open and close to the rhythm.

"Sansa," he began to growl in warning but she was quicker.

"Not here," her voice nearly a whisper.

His eyes peered around finding the weary faces of the elderly, children, and wounded amongst them. A look of guilt flashing over his hardened face before fury returned and he stalked out of the doors back into the courtyard. She trailed behind him in double time before he found another innocent to terrorize.

She followed him into her solar and quickly closed the door behind them. Before she could chastise him for making a scene in front of all those frightened people after such an intense battle, he rounded on her so close she could feel the heat of his breath.

"I have to find her. She's out there still. She was fighting him and I felt, I heard — I'm not even sure anymore but I know Drogon is injured." His dark tone and apathy for the people within Winterfell, his people, unsettled her. He was nearly unrecognizable. But she had to get through to him.

"And if she did fly and if by chance she is hurt, how would you get to her? How would you find her? She could be anywhere by now on a dragon."

"I have to try Sansa. You don't understand." His frustration was evident in his pacing and his hands passing roughly over his face. His sword hand flexing.

"Well explain it to me then. Because I know for certain that your people need you here. Those people that you frightened in that hall. The ones who came here for reassurance and safety."

"She saved me Sansa. She risked her life and sacrificed the life of that dragon to save me. I have to find her if she's — if she's hurt, or fallen." His words growing heavier as they tumble out of his mouth. "I have to try." His body crumpled into the chair nearest the hearth defeated.

Her steel gave way and she knelt in front of him grasping the furs on his arm. _He loved her_. The last time he expressed such reckless passion was when he led the charge towards Rickon. Jon had never expressed love towards a girl before. But how could she really be sure, she never paid much attention to him.

They sat in momentary silence, the sound of cracking fire and howling wind tempering their urgency. She squeezed his arm awakening him from his thoughts. "I shouldn't have let her go, let her battle the Night King on her own." He stared into the dark corners of the room.

"I haven't been acquainted with the queen long but she doesn't seem like the type to be let to do anything." Her voice soft and metered testing his unease.

"No. She's not." He turned to face her, a ghost of a smile tugged at his lips but didn't fully form. "I can't stay here," the words were contrite but decisive.

She tipped her head in understanding. She knew he would do anything to protect the people he loved. Them being here at Winterfell was proof of that. "How will you find her?"

"I don't know. Follow the melted snow, I suppose." He stood and held a hand to raise her as well.

"I will work with Tyrion and Ser Davos to keep the peace while you are gone." She'd pushed her shoulders back and tilted her chin up.

"I know you will. This castle is yours Lady Stark." He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly before letting her go and moving to the door.

"Jon?"

He turned back before walking across the threshold.

"Find her." The words came easily to her lips knowing the danger they would all be in if he were to lose someone else he loved.

He dipped his head once and left.

He'd gone before and he'd come back. He died before and he came back. She couldn't worry, so she wouldn't worry. She righted her furs and strode towards the door gripping the handle tightly. She said a prayer to the gods of her father and mother, fortified herself and resumed her duties as the Lady of Winterfell.


End file.
